THE CLIMB
Guesno Mardy’s son Gardy was 2 years old when he was kidnapped in Haiti. Through the course of 7 years, his efforts to find his son on his own accord gained the attention of the child rescue organization Operation Underground Railroad. O.U.R’s entry into the search for Gardy led to a bust at an illegal orphanage where they rescued 28 malnourished children. Gardy was not found among the children who were rescued. Guesno cried upon receiving the news of his son not being found. Though disheartening news, his perspective was rather unique, noting that if his son was never kidnapped, then the 28 children were likely to have been sold. Guesno then stated, “If I have to sacrifice my son for these kids to be rescued, that’s a sacrifice that I’m willing to make.” At the time of the documentary release Operation Toussaint, Guesno Mardy and his wife adopted 8 of the children that were rescued. According to the World Mental Health Survey 70-80% of adults will experience traumatic life altering events. These experiences fall under the scope of sudden death of a loved one, witnessing violence or injury, accidents and natural disasters, interpersonal violence, war or combat. For some that encounters these events, it breaks them. For the rest of their lives they live in a distorted world. It’s them against everybody else. Since 1990 research has been developed to highlight those who face a traumatic event and it changes them for the better. Guesno had a decision to make when his son was kidnapped. He could choose to live a life that was filled with guilt and regret, or he could choose the path of creating a solution to the problem that he faced. Guesno chose the latter. This is Post-Traumatic Growth.
It might be evident within the name itself but Post-Traumatic Growth is the positive psychological change that can occur due to a traumatic event. There’s some level of mental, physical, or spiritual development where you gain a new perspective that prompts you to take new actions. You can also develop a new attitude, like a greater appreciation of life (this does wonders). Honestly, I’m grateful there is now a magnifying glass on mental health. My thoughts go towards the older generations; coping with the brutalities that life dealt them; had some parents beating their kids for curiosity. “Askin’ bout some, ‘do we always gotta’ eat grits?’”. Though it is interesting that this information exists about the possible benefits of trauma, parts of society seem hell bent on having you wallow in the stress of what your past experiences cost you. Now, this is no exhortation for you to finesse your way into the SAW series, putting your life on the line for the sake of a “growth opportunity”. Rather, question why society urges you to look into all life’s past injustices that give you reasons why it’s ok to stay as you are; dare to be curious about what you have to gain from the injustices of life. A radical shift in perspective is required. It is not a one time event, but a practice of responding to negative stimuli with hope and future oriented thinking. Our expectations of life sometimes holds us in bondage because we believe that there is a way life is “supposed” to be. Interesting of you to know what a life you’ve never experienced is “supposed” to be like. The more we open our minds towards how little we know of life, the more we can adapt to it. The soul is making a request for you to allow the part of yourself to die that was attached to the trauma. We must remember that in nature (which we are very much a part of), the most blazing wildfires, nuclear accidents, and dying carcasses, breed new life. The cost of living is indeed dying. How does it look to live again?
PTSD PTG
General Population | 5–10% will develop full PTSD symptoms | 30–70% report at least some level of
PTG
High-risk groups | 15–50% develop PTSD | 30–60% experience PTG
(veterans, refugees, assault survivors, low socioeconomic status individuals)
Key Insight | PTSD and PTG are not mutually exclusive — someone can have PTSD and still experience growth in certain areas of life (relationships, spirituality, purpose).
YOUR STRUGGLE IS YOUR STRENGTH. Research posits that aspects of creativity such as resourcefulness, innovation, adaptability, and problem-solving skills are fostered in low socioeconomic status individuals. An ability for more divergent thinking; an approach that prepares you for an unconventional road. So we’re already well-equipped to handle the hardships of life, but why are we not handling it? “Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.” Jonathan Haidt’s quote from his book “The Coddling of the American Mind.” We’re unprepared for life. I stood outside on the corner of 2nd ave and Southwest drive. For the times I didn’t want to be in church on Sunday mornings for praise and worship, I’d “help” my oldest brother manage the parking lot. A guy who frequented the church was across the street heading in to get his praise on (we’ll call him Jax). A van drove by and stopped where he walked. A man hopped out, shot Jax point blank and brought his walk and life to an end. I was 5 years old. This seemingly was the beginning of a string of events (or maybe it was when I busted my lip at 3, blood leaking from my mouth while I’m catching it in my cupped hands. I needed stitches), that altered my reality. My life then, was always at risk. Being held at gun point at 11; “where you from?” I still remember in slow motion how my gummy bears fell to the ground as I surrendered my hands up. Seeing my brother grabbed and held hostage by some random man as my oldest brother and I panicked to tell our mom. Having no food in our house many times over or being evicted. Maybe it was the fighting, or seeing my brothers fight, or seeing random people fight and getting jumped. Maybe it was being hyperaware of what I couldn’t afford to wear, knowing that I’d get bullied for it. The walks to school were reserved for planning defenses. “So I did have a reason for the times I acted in cowardice?” Or maybe it was running from the shootings, this time, or that time; lacking resources, being brainwashed in a cult, (story for another time), or working in the projects…there’s more, I think. I don’t remember. My therapist told me I still live a life of hyper-vigilance, looking for danger, to worry, living in anxiety. We are life’s victims, vulnerable to ruin at its whim. Is this my life?
“In times of peace, prepare for war.”This is an exhortation… We are called to live a life of preparation. If we accept that this journey of life is not “The American Dream” or any other present day folklore being sold on social media; then we can shift our focus to life being the great unknown, filled with a variety traps that are inevitable to any soul birthed: a battlefield. As always, we have options. We can live a life of descension, where our choices are reduced to animalistic impulsive reactions. A do what thou feels religion, where babies are birthed from inebriation, saved memes, and a cycle of bad decisions. We can live a life where we do just enough; what’s required. We even at times, do more than what’s required of us. Our efforts get us to a point where we can coast. We’ve figured life out, but life always has a surprise for the soul that’s grown dull. This is that mid-life crisis, leave your faith in last year religion, cause the accolades you built your life on was planted on shifting sand. Then, there’s a life we live where it’s forever uphill. It’s overcoming challenge, after challenge, after challenge; a life lived overcoming death. This is where you fully live life in the present. Not backed up with regrets, unexpressed thoughts and living through the lens of your trauma. In the book “The Body Keeps The Score”, by Bessel van der Kolk, states that trauma is stored in the physiology of the body. When we choose to stay the same after a crisis, we accept stress in our bodies, minds, and soul that’s rooted in the past. That’s living in a delusion. Instead, we opt to seek pain and discomfort to prepare for the unavoidable waves of valleys that come with the peaks of life. Not that when crises arises, we are invincible to it; to feel is to live. Yet, we are more equipped to handle it and come out better because of it. For the past two years with our business, my wife and I have created a business plan with revisions, developed a strategy with many revisions, created several decks ready for presentation, defined the brand identity with many more revisions over. We created content for marketing (still do), re-developed the story and we have worked for free; without receiving a single dime. We built for where we knew we were going. That’s just what we physically did. Spiritually and mentally is recorded in another entry.
I’d rather be bigger on my inside than the road that lies ahead of me. To truly live we must accept the climb.
